Bah! Depression, GO AWAY. You are not wanted here, nor are you welcomed. Get out. Who gave you the authority to put yourself wherever you please?
Darn tootin’ it is.
I’m having an incredibly rough time this weekend, this year. For those who don’t know, I have no father. Well. Wait. Obviously, I have one, but I grew up without him around. I’ve never spoken to him, and really have no intention of doing so. I figure, well, if he doesn’t care, then apparently neither should I. Which is how I’ve been living my life for the past 18 years. So it makes no sense as to why Father’s day is taking a hell of a toll on me. I’ve been fine. This year, though… It matters. I wish I had someone (besides, my “father” Steven), to give a card to. I know it’s just a stupid holiday made to sell cards…but I wish I could buy a stupid card for someone who had a part in raising me. And there’s no way in hell I’d give one to my mother.
I’m so frustrated and so upset that this is getting to me. Along with this, my mother stole my money again, I found her alcohol stash, my grandmother is breathing her fiery breath down my neck, and I’m being attacked from all sides. I cried myself to sleep again last night, and had nightmares for the first time in about 4 months… and I thought I was doing so well.
On above stated topic, again, for those who don’t know. I suffer from depression, and depression is a way to let Satan in and take hold of one and attack. I had nightmares nightly for about 6 months. Around my 18th birthday, life started looking up; my friends are amazing, God’s love is incredible, my youth groups are fantastic, work wasn’t awful, and graduation was right around the corner. Last night it felt like everything just dropped and crashed all around me. Nightmares came back.
I need to get out of here. And it is perfectly okay…to not be “okay.”
Thank you :)
What do you mean? People will be stupid, regardless of how it effects me. Friends or not, they may or may not be reading what I have to say about Jesus, and that’s all that really counts.
“Therefore, if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”
- 2 Corinthians 5:17
Change, my friends, is a wonderful thing. Almost everything that has changed for the better has been because of love, and practically everything that has changed negatively has been due to hate.
I can understand where people say that change is a bad thing, because it some cases, from one’s point of view, it does suck. Say that times are-a changin’ because of graduation, and one’s friends are leaving. Yes, that sucks. But one must think of the places that said friends are going. They are going on to bigger and better things, and God has called them to go there. Much like how one is called to stay in one place.
I once had a friend told me that he does not change. But that cannot be true. One cannot be the same person one was in first grade, when one is now 20. I, personally, have changed so much in the past year. I’ve gone from smoking pot and drinking every weekend to involving myself in work, more church activities, and my friends. I have changed, so much for the better.
“If you really change your ways and your actions and deal with each other justly, if you do not oppress the alien, the fatherless, or the widow, and do not shed innocent blood in this place, and if you do not follow other gods to your own harm, then I will let you live in this place, in the land I gave your forefathers forever and ever.”
- Jeremiah 7:5-7
“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”
- Romans 12:2
God does not need us. He longs for us. He longs for a relationship with us, and we absolutely NEED God.
I am proud to say that I am not the person I was last year, two years ago, 5 years ago. I am proud to say that I am a child of God, and nothing can touch me.
I love my Jesus, and my Jesus loves me.
Sarah. Sarahlove. Tobi.
Maybe. Someday. Life. Will. Be. Perfect. Hopefully.